Thursday, January 20, 2011

Don't let go

I looked at the box one last time before I handed it over to Kevin. "I have to go. I wish you the best." I said and walked away. I felt free and upset at the same time. I got into my car and drove off. I went to my favourite bar to have a drink. I needed to clear my head. "The usual right?" The bartender asked. "No, I'll just have a coke today. New beginnings." I replied. He smiled. I took out my little note book and crossed out one task: 'Send all of Kevin's stuff to him.' These tasks were to help me start over. I had fulfilled 9 out of 10. I was almost done!

The last task was to accept my boyfriend's proposal. We were having the best of relationships till Kevin came in. Kevin was my first love. We had been dating for years and he travelled out of my region. A few months after he moved I heard he had gotten himself a girl there. I confronted him, he denied it, we fought and that was it. It was so hard for me to let him go but I had done it. I knew I was doing the right thing. Peter was everything I could ever ask for. He loved me so much, he deserved me. I picked up my phone to call him but just then I had a text from Kevin. "Please, don't let go." It read. All of a sudden, tears started forming in my eyes.

When I got home that night, my mum was still up. She sat me down in the hall to talk to me. "Is the engagement coming on soon?" She asked. I shook my head. "I will call him tomorrow." I replied and went straight to my room. That night was the longest. In the middle of the night I sat up, closed my eyes and prayed. "God please give me a sign." Right after the prayer, I slept like a baby.

Peter was so excited when I told him I was ready for us to take our relationship to the next level. He even suggested we go out on a date to celebrate. I told him it wasn’t necessary but he insisted. We went to a night beach just a few blocks from Peter’s office. It was a little chilly but the view was amazing. The moon cast a silver shadow on the water. It was half past ten and the place looked deserted. We sat on one of the rocks. He put his arm around me and I rested my arm on his shoulder. It was peaceful and calm around but not in my head because all I could think about was Kevin. 

I didn’t see this coming at all. Peter closed my eyes with one arm. I asked him what was going on and he asked me to open my eyes. It was an engagement ring. He looked at me with a huge smile on his face, “Kafui Segbedji, will you marry me?” He asked. I looked at him and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I had to say yes, though I knew I didn’t want to. I managed to smile and nod. He hugged me with so much joy after he put the ring on my finger. My sorrowful tears seemed to work as tears of joy so I was covered. 

“I guess I’d be going, it’s a little late.” I said and grabbed my keys. Peter walked in with a bottle of wine and two glasses. “So soon, it’s Friday, besides we are engaged now. Isn’t that exciting? He said and opened the bottle. That wasn’t good. “Yea but I need to tell ma mum and sister the good news you know?” I added, looking down. “Kaf, you still love him don’t you?” He asked. He was looking directly at me. I didn’t want to lie to him but how could I tell the truth. “No, would I be with you if I did? I don’t.” I replied as boldly as I could. He could tell I was lying. I just knew he could. He dropped the glasses immediately. My heart missed a beat when they shattered into a million pieces. Then the bottle followed. That was when I knew I wasn’t safe. My hands were shaking. “I should go.” I said and rushed to the door. He came after me and grabbed me by the arm. I looked at him with fear in my eyes. He said in the most terrifying voice, “Don’t be afraid, it’s just Peter, the boy who has loved you since High School. The boy who came to your hospital room every day when you broke your leg in Uni. The boy who listened to you talk about Kevin 24/7 when you two had problems. Why are you afraid now?” I had never seen this side of him before. It’s like he was possessed. “Please Peter, don’t do this. We fell in love and we still are so please let me go.” I managed to say. He pushed me away from the door and I fell face flat on the floor with the glass cutting my arm. “You thought you loved me until he came back. Don’t even try to hide it. I’m tired of hearing your lies.” He said, walking to me. My whole body was shaking now. 

Before I could say anything he kicked me in the side. The pain was unbelievable. “Please Peter, let me go.” I cried with tears in my eyes. “You know what, maybe I will but first I need to taste you. I can’t believe I fell for this stupid virgin joke. Tonight I will find out what Kevin used to enjoy.” He said, taking off his belt. “No, please I’m begging you. It wasn’t a joke. Peter please!” I yelled but he put his hand over my mouth. I couldn’t believe what was happening. 

I opened my eyes and looked at my arm. There was no blood or bruise. I turned around and saw Kevin lying next to me, asleep. It was just a dream! I turned to him and hugged him very tightly. “hmmm?” he mumbled. “I’ll not let go.” I whispered in his ear. “Good.” He said and pulled me on his chest, still with his eyes closed and we both slept like babies…