a crush

Emotionless 7

1:17 PM

Coleman overslept and had to rush out the next morning. He did something very strange when he was leaving. In all his rushing he stopped and kissed my forehead. He had never done that before. When he was gone I took my bath and got ready for work. Just before I picked up my bag to leave I heard a knock at my door. My heart skipped a beat. I hadn't planned what I was going to say to Edem yet. I contemplated pretending not to be around but that would only make things worse. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

To my surprise it wasn't Edem. An elderly man who looked like he was in his late 50s stood there. He was wearing a grey suit and glasses. "Hello, are you Linda?" He asked. I nodded and he politely asked to come in and have a word with me. I let him in and he sat down on the couch. He looked around my apartment for a while and finally turned to me. "My name is General Fred Coleman my son is the man you have been hosting in your apartment." He said in a very straight forward tone. I wasn't sure what to say. My heart instantly started pounding. What was Coleman's father doing here?!

"My son was here yesterday wasn't he?" Fred Coleman asked. I nodded and he shook his head. "It looks like you are going somewhere so I will make this brief. You will not entertain Coleman anymore. I know he gave you lots of gifts for your services but you shouldn't worry about that. If you do as I say you will get more." He said. I stared at him blankly and he went on. "His marriage is very important. I see that he can't get himself to stop seeing you so I will want it done the other way round. Last night I did some thinking about it. If you even left him I doubt his marriage will still hold so I'm going to give you a job." the way he talked commanded so much authority. I could see why Coleman desperately wanted to please him. Somehow I wished my father cared this much about me.

"Sir I'm sorry about me and Coleman..." I started but he cut me off. "I'm not here for apologies. From what I hear you are a clever girl. Will you do my job or not? Maybe you want to hear what you will get? I will get you a new apartment, bigger and better than this and give you 3000 cedis a month for the period you will be working for me. If you impress me I will double it." He said. My heart started beating faster. I almost agreed but I thought first. "What job is this?" I asked. He removed his glasses wiped them and put them back on. The suspense killed me. "My daughter in law is not very marriage material. I am she's a spoilt child and that's really why my son doesn't go home at night. I want you to teach her how to please my son." He replied.

I almost choked and was in a brief state of denial. "Sir I'm not sure I know..." I started and he raised his palm to stop me. "I know Samira well and you are by all means one of her best. Don't disappoint your madam." He said, getting up to leave. He dropped a call card on my center table. "Call me when you are ready to start. My son must never hear about any of this or even that I was here." He said as he walked out. I saw him to the door and watched him leave with another man that looked very much like a body guard. I quickly locked the door behind me and tried to sink everything in. "How did he know who I was or even Samira? Had he been aware of this all this time?

I skipped work that day. I was tempted to call Coleman and tell him what happened but I knew his father meant business. I picked up my phone and called Samira instead. She could tell I was nervous almost immediately. I narrated the whole story to her. When I was done her silence scared me. Samira always had something to say and most often laughed at serious situations but this time she was too quiet for my liking. "General Coleman, hmm Lin do what he says you should do." She finally said. "Samira I don't even know the woman. How am I supposed to teach her how to be a good wife? Who even does that?" I complained. "Lin listen to me, General Coleman is a very dangerous man. Don't do anything to offend him. The fact that he mentioned my name is even a warning to me. Do what he wants and do your best. Do you hear me?" Samira said sternly. I was speechless. I agreed and hanged up. What had I gotten myself into?

To be continued... 


Emotionless 6

1:24 PM

I got up and walked into the door. I opened it and saw Coleman outside. He tried to enter but I stopped him. "What's wrong with you? Let me in!" He said furiously. "I want to be alone. Please leave." I shot back.

I tried to close the door but he put his foot in the way. He yelled at me again and before I could say anything Edem appeared. "Is there a problem?" He asked. Coleman turned to look at him. "There's no problem, my girlfriend is just letting me in." Coleman said looking directly at me and trying to push his way in. "Coleman just go." I said. I had tears in my eyes at this point. I couldn't hold the door any longer. Edem stepped in between me and Coleman and asked him to leave. "I don't think this is any of your business." Coleman said to him rolling his eyes.

Edem turned to look at me. "Are you OK?" He asked. I wasn't sure what to say but before I could open my mouth Coleman pushed the door almost tripping me. Edem held him and saved me from falling. He then grabbed Coleman's arm and told him to leave. Coleman quickly moved away, breaking free from Edem's grip and turned to look at me. I could see what he was thinking. "Lin do you really want me to leave?" He asked. I looked down. The apartment was basically his. I looked at Edem who looked very ready to fight. I couldn't believe he would do that for me. "It's ok Edem. Sorry for the confusion." I said opening the door for Coleman. He smiled and walked it. "Thank you." I said and closed the door. I could hear him calling me back but I couldn't face him. He was a very good guy, surely too good for me.

Coleman went into the kitchen and I sat in the hall. I looked around and wondered if the things around me was worth going through all this. I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes. Maybe it was all a dream. My eyes opened when I heard Coleman's footsteps. He sat down beside me. "I'm sure you think I'm some jerk and can't wait to get rid of me right?" He said. I turned to look at him. He had entered one of his gloomy moods. "No I don't." I lied. He shook his head. He obviously didn't believe me.

"I don't blame you. My father came to see me earlier today and he told me I was a failure. All my life that's what he's been calling me. I thought now that I had money he would see me differently but he didn't. All he could see was my failing marriage." Coleman went on. He had never told me this much about his father before. He seemed very upset. "Is that why you decided to do cocaine?" I asked. He shrugged. "How else was I going to clear my head?" He answered. All of a sudden I felt sorry for him. "Your dad cares about you. Of he didn't he wouldn't even come and see you." I said. Coleman looked doubtful. "When my mother died he did everything for us. He wanted us to be amazing men. My brother made it though. He became a doctor, married an awesome woman, won many awards and stuff. My younger sister is a lawyer in the UK. She flys in with her perfect family almost every year. I'm just the black sheep." Coleman said and took a sip of wine.

"I don't know why you are worried. You are married with beautiful kids and an executive in a big company." I said. He shook his head. "I'm miserable. Don't you see? I'm always complaining, whining here and there. The reason I have that glamorous job is because I married the CEO's daughter. Well I had to marry her because she was from a powerful family my dad wanted to get close to. Nothing I have was earned. My father has missed out on a number of political positions because of me. I'm always the one his opponent gets dirt on to use against him." He went on.

I picked up the wine bottle and drunk it without a glass. I wondered why Coleman was sharing so much information with me. "I promised my dad I would put myself together. I wanted today to be special. I ruined it." He said. I sat up and took another gulp of wine. Coleman stared at me for a while, as if he was contemplating telling me something. Then he looked away. I tried to get him to talk but it didn't work. He took a deep breath and kissed me. I was expecting him to unbutton my blouse but he didn't. He got up and went straight to the room and in a matter of minutes I heard him snoring.

Edem had sent me messages asking if I was ok. I didn't know how to reply them. I looked like a total fool in front of him. Now he definitely knew what I was. I felt ashamed so I ignored his messages. I read them and smiled at how thoughtful he was. He wanted to know if I was comfortable with Coleman around and if there was anything he could do. I smiled and thought of how lucky his girlfriend was to have him as I fell asleep. I mumbled a prayer for a normal life like her.

To be continued... 


Emotionless 5

3:30 PM

That night when Coleman asked me to meet him at the spa I knew he and his wife had issues again. I really wanted to refuse but that was not a good idea. "Never skip meetings twice in a row with your man." That was one of Samira's rules. I had given a funny excuse for not meeting him the week before. It wasn't a good idea to do it again. So I took a shower and left. The Spa was owned by Coleman's school friend so we always had a private room to ourselves whenever we went there.

When I got to the spa before I even put my bag down he grabbed me and kissed me. I could tell he was very angry from the way he did it. I played along and when he pulled out my button in a haste to take off my blouse I held him back and asked him what was wrong. That was one of my favourite blouses he just ruined. "I'm sorry I'm just not myself. You are also looking very beautiful today. Where were you when I was single? I should have married you." Coleman said stroking my hair. That was when I smelt it. The smell of cocaine on his fingers. "My goodness did you just do coke?!" I exclaimed. He looked down. I could tell he wasn't proud of himself.

Coleman occasionally smoked weed when he was really upset but I never imagined him moving on to coke. This was something I honestly wasn't prepared for. My abusive father was a coke addict and all of a sudden the anger I felt for him consumed me. I grabbed my bag and turned to Coleman. "What is wrong with you? Put yourself together!" I shot out. He also got up. "Are you judging me? You, who is sleeping with a marriage man? Maybe I should put myself together and get rid of you too!" Coleman yelled moving closer to me. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it clearly in my ears. My childhood days when my father used to beat me flashed before my eyes. I moved back until I felt the door knob and rushed out.

My hands were shaking so much when I got to my car that I had to calm down before I could drive back home. I noticed my phone ringing and saw that it was Coleman but I didn't answer. When I got to my apartment I rushed into my room and fell on my bed. The memories of my abusive father started playing in my head.

I tried to think about something positive and then I heard a knock on my door. I wanted to shout, go away but what good would that do? Then the knock got louder. I wondered why someone was banging on my door at 10pm. I covered my ears with my pillow but that didn't stop the noise. "Lin, open the door!" The person yelled. It was Coleman. I got up and walked into the door. I opened it and saw Coleman outside.

To be continued... 


Emotionless 4

6:07 AM

After work I went straight to Edem's apartment. I don't know why but I really wanted to see him. He invited me in and we watched TV together, chatting about our day. He took me to the kitchen and asked me to help him prepare dinner. I couldn't refuse. I took off my 8 inch heels and wore a pair of slippers he gave me.

Edem's kitchen was well stacked and he knew exactly what he was doing. He handed me couple of vegetables to cut after I washed my hands. He made fun of me as I took my time to cut them. I was a bad cook but I wanted to impress him for no reason at all. I laughed as he teased me and made fun of him too. I had never had this much fun in a kitchen before.

When the food was ready I felt like I had earned every bite I took. It was such an excellent meal. When Edem gave me a little bowl of left over chicken sauce I grabbed it immediately. "For your hard work." He said and we both giggled. As he spoke I stared at him. He hadn't made advances at me at all. Was he gay? Did he have a girlfriend? Was he just not interested in me? I couldn't make any sense of it. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the first move. Then I snapped back into reality when I heard Edem ask a question. "Oh me, I work in the marketing department of a real estate company." I replied. I could tell he really wanted to get to know me.

"What's your girlfriend like?" I asked. He almost choked on his drink in surprise. I laughed and he joined in too. When the laughter was over I told him I was waiting for his answer. He shrugged and said she was a cool person. He avoided eye contact as he spoke and immediately changed the subject. I wanted to pry but he looked so uncomfortable so I decided to let it go.

The next morning I decided to stay at home. I called the secretary at work and told her I won't be at work that day. The advantages of being a 'sweetheart' of the boss. I was just about to go for a swim when I heard a knock at the door. It was my friend Samira. I let her in and she walked right into my kitchen. "I need a cold drink. It's blazing out there." She said as she opened the fridge and looked inside. I told her I was just going for a swim but she said she had important matters to discuss.

"The agency fee has increased. Looking at you I'm sure that won't even be an issue." Samira said with a wink. I could have argued with her, I wanted to but there was no point. Samira's agency introduced me to 'benefiting from older men' when I was much younger. She groomed me and taught me how to appeal to men. She made it a point to collect money from everyone who had ever been under her wing. It was called membership dues. Even though I thought it was stupid,  200 cedis a month wasn't an amount I couldn't afford.

I picked up my purse and gave her the money. "So Samira what if I become normal, like get married and..." I started. Samira laughed and cut in "Ah Linda, but I'm married. Who is stopping you from getting married?" I shook my head. Samira was married to a 59 year old Governor in Nigeria. "I mean marrying someone I love." I explained. She just rolled her eyes and stood up to leave. "Love is for poor people. If you can find a rich man you love why not? Love won't buy those 200 dollar slippers you are wearing though." She said pointing to the designer fluffy slippers I was wearing. I remembered my last boyfriend bought them for me when we went on a trip to Paris. We both giggled and she picked up her bag to leave.

Samira played a very strange role in my life. She was a cross between a sister, a boss and in a strange way a guardian. We met when I was in secondary school. Just like me her parents had problems. In fact she never knew who her father was because her mother was a prostitute. We got close because of this void we had,  where our parental love was supposed to be. She was very 'friendly' with the male teachers and continued from there. "When I grow up I will live in a big house. I will have a lot of money no matter what." She used to say. I looked at her and wondered if she felt empty inside like I did sometimes. "Godfred is waiting for me." She said. I looked out the window and saw her E-Class parked outside. "So? Will I stop paying the dues if I marry some regular guy?" I asked when she was at the door. Samira stopped and turned around. "I will gladly accept a lump sum. 40,000 Cedis sounds like a nice parting gift, don't you think so?" She said and walked out.

To be continued... 

a crush

Emotionless 3

4:42 PM

Coleman took a shower which calmed him down and in a matter of minutes he had fallen asleep. When I saw he was asleep I took my chance and went to Edem's place. "Lynn, I didn't think you would come." He said when he opened the door for me. I walked in and went straight to the dining room. Edem's apartments was a bit smaller than mine but the decor looked very modern with mirrors and beautiful chandelier. I could smell the food, it smelled really good. "Wow, did you cook this yourself?" I asked when he dished out the food for me. Edem smiled and nodded. "My dad is a chef in Spain. I used to watch him when he cooked when I was younger." He explained.

The food tasted even better than it looked. My crush on him was definitely very big now. How many good looking young men could cook so well? "So how did the party go last night? I saw your boyfriend pick you up yesterday when I was at the pool." Edem said as we had dinner. I almost choked. "Boyfriend? No, that's my... cousin." I lied. Then a few things instantly made sense to me. Edem was not hitting on me because he thought or would I say knew I was seeing Coleman. No wonder he always played the friend card.

Now that I had cleared the air I was expecting him to make a move at me. Funny enough he didn't. He was just his usual self, always wanting to hear me talk more, making me laugh and being an awesome person. For a split second I considered being normal with him. Falling for him, going out with him and eventually getting married and have kids like everyone does. Then I shook my head and stood up to leave. Normal wasn't for me. "I really need to get some sleep, see you tomorrow." I said and Edem nodded with a grin.

When I got back to my place I walked into my room and saw Coleman snoring in my bed. Being a side chicken wasn't fun but it paid the bills with lots of change. I took a hot shower and joined Coleman in bed. I noticed his phone was beeping like crazy with messages. I walked over and read the most recent message. It was from his wife and read, "I'm sorry about what I said to you. I was just angry. Please come home." I looked at Coleman as he slept and put the phone back down. Marriage seemed so complicated.

The next day it seemed Coleman and his wife had patched up their issues because when I got to work he sent me a text saying he wouldn't come over that night. I smiled in relief. "I have two tickets for the comedy show this weekend. Will you go with me?" Kennedy, my workmate asked. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Ken, I told you I'm seeing someone." I said. He nodded and explained that he just wanted to hang out. "Are they VIP tickets?" I asked.

Ken looked at the tickets again and said no. "Then forget it I'm not going." I concluded and walked away. Surely he should have known that I only do VIP tickets for any event. Someway somehow even though Edem didn't hit on me the previous night I kept thinking about him at work.

To be continued... 


Emotionless 2

3:35 PM

When Coleman left my apartment I took a bath and went out shopping. The perks of being with Coleman was the amount of money he gave me. People always wondered how I could afford expensive bags and shoes with my marketing executive job. Obviously they didn't know about Coleman. I kept the little things we did between me and him. When I got back to my apartment I saw Edem downstairs at the pool. There was something very interesting about him. I rushed inside, put on a very hot bikini I bought from the mall, threw on a kimono and rushed to the pool. Yes that's how fancy my apartment is.

When I got to the pool I jumped right in. "Hey, what's up? I saw you leave earlier." Edem said when he saw me. I swam to him. "Really? We're you stalking me?" I teased and he giggled. He wasn't like most guys I knew. "I went to get a few things from the mall." I said. We chat and swam for a while and decided to leave.

Edem said he was hungry. He invited me over to dinner. I smiled and accepted. I was honestly going to waltz into his apartment in my bikini and transparent kimono when he said, I should change and come by when I was done. I nodded and we left the pool. He's such a decent guy.

When I got to my apartment I thought about what to wear. Clearly something short and semi see through would do the trick. My wardrobe was filled with clothes I had never worn. Maybe today would be their lucky day. I took out my phone to text Edem to let him know I was coming over soon when I noticed Coleman had sent me a countless number of messages. He was going on and on about his wife. Apparently they had had a big fight and he was coming over. I checked the time of the message. It was sent over an hour ago. I cursed in frustration when I heard the doorbell. I was very pissed off to have to cancel dinner with Edem.

I opened the door and Coleman rushed in. He was holding a duffle bag. "I can't stand that terrible woman anymore." He said heading straight for my bedroom. I run after him asking what was wrong. "She doesn't want me to stay out after work anymore. Am I a child? She has been calling my secretary to ask the time I leave the office oh. That woman thinks because her family invested in my business she can treat me anyhow she likes eh? Stupid!" He nagged. I assured him that everything would be ok. It was when he removed his pyjamas from the duffle bag that I realized he had decided to stay. I wanted to explode!

To be continued... 



3:33 PM

Have you ever felt used but you blame yourself more than the person who used you because you know deep down you brought yourself to the slaughter house? That's how I felt as I lay on the bed with Coleman. It was almost 6am and my eyes opened by force of habit. I stared at him as he slept peacefully and wished it had never happened. I tried to tell myself to break up with him but that's what I said the last time and here I was in bed with a married man.

I got up and walked to the kitchen. Wallowing in my sorrows was not going to feed me. I opened the fridge and brought out a pack of food Coleman brought the night before. It was when I had heated it and was about to sit on my dining area that he woke up. "Good morning beautiful, something smells good." He said walking into the kitchen. I liked it when he called me that. My father never told me I was beautiful. It's funny how true that thing is. Your parents are the first people who can help you mold your self worth. My parents didn't really care much but I don't blame them. They didn't love each other. How could they possibly love me?

"Good morning. I just heated up some food." I said. He grabbed a fork and we ate together. Coleman was a very interesting guy. His wife was lucky to have him. Well I had him too but that's different. Every time we met he spoke about his wife and son 90% of the time. Most of time he was complaining about some things she did that irritated him. I always listened, unconcerned though but I pretended to care. It made him feel better.

I met him at a party about 6 months ago. It was one of these end of year corporate parties. I make it a point to attend these whenever I'm single. Boyfriends are easy to catch at these places. A nice fitted dress, long wavy hair, the right amount of make up and you are ready to grab the eyes of a wealthy executive.

Coleman was easy to approach. He didn't have a date and looked very lonely. I had never dated a married man before. Initially I didn't think it would be a problem but I know now that I was very wrong. I guess deep down, deep deep down I want to be a good person right? Maybe I was having all these thoughts because of Edem from down my lane. Ever since I met him things had been different for me. He is a very good looking young guy I met during my evening jog. He always made me laugh. Coleman was by far my youngest....boyfriend but Edem was a serious sight for sore eyes.

To be continued... 


New year, new vim

2:19 PM

Don't you just love the new year? People are wishing you good things here and there, some are throwing parties, making resolutions and filling the air with excitement. It's like all of a sudden some vim has just appeared from nowhere. This is good!

The only problem with the new year energy is that it's always shortlived.  We are positive, optimistic, set resolutions in joy and by February our brains just say "forget that chale." Just like that oh but this year I want to spice things up a little. I put together a few things that I'm planning to use to help me go through the old year with vim!

I'm going to...
  1. Count my blessings 
  2. Celebrate my successes no matter how small they are
  3. Be flexible with my plans/goals
  4. Give more
  5. Share more of what I know with others

So this is my little plan. Did I add I'll be making some changes to this blog as well? I'm not going to ruin the surprise by telling you what it is but if I'm to give a clue... it's pure awesomeness! Happy New Year everyone :) 

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