Thursday, January 19, 2017
Have you ever felt used but you blame yourself more than the person who used you because you know deep down you brought yourself to the slaughter house? That's how I felt as I lay on the bed with Coleman. It was almost 6am and my eyes opened by force of habit. I stared at him as he slept peacefully and wished it had never happened. I tried to tell myself to break up with him but that's what I said the last time and here I was in bed with a married man.
I got up and walked to the kitchen. Wallowing in my sorrows was not going to feed me. I opened the fridge and brought out a pack of food Coleman brought the night before. It was when I had heated it and was about to sit on my dining area that he woke up. "Good morning beautiful, something smells good." He said walking into the kitchen. I liked it when he called me that. My father never told me I was beautiful. It's funny how true that thing is. Your parents are the first people who can help you mold your self worth. My parents didn't really care much but I don't blame them. They didn't love each other. How could they possibly love me?
"Good morning. I just heated up some food." I said. He grabbed a fork and we ate together. Coleman was a very interesting guy. His wife was lucky to have him. Well I had him too but that's different. Every time we met he spoke about his wife and son 90% of the time. Most of time he was complaining about some things she did that irritated him. I always listened, unconcerned though but I pretended to care. It made him feel better.
I met him at a party about 6 months ago. It was one of these end of year corporate parties. I make it a point to attend these whenever I'm single. Boyfriends are easy to catch at these places. A nice fitted dress, long wavy hair, the right amount of make up and you are ready to grab the eyes of a wealthy executive.
Coleman was easy to approach. He didn't have a date and looked very lonely. I had never dated a married man before. Initially I didn't think it would be a problem but I know now that I was very wrong. I guess deep down, deep deep down I want to be a good person right? Maybe I was having all these thoughts because of Edem from down my lane. Ever since I met him things had been different for me. He is a very good looking young guy I met during my evening jog. He always made me laugh. Coleman was by far my youngest....boyfriend but Edem was a serious sight for sore eyes.
This story is now on Amazon Kindle. You can download it here for $2.99 (about 13 Cedis) https://www.amazon.com/EMOTIONLESS-JULIET-AZEDI-AJAAB-ebook/dp/B0767RVNHR/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1507467737&sr=1-3&keywords=Emotionless
Thursday, January 12, 2017
The only problem with the new year energy is that it's always shortlived. We are positive, optimistic, set resolutions in joy and by February our brains just say "forget that chale." Just like that oh but this year I want to spice things up a little. I put together a few things that I'm planning to use to help me go through the old year with vim!
I'm going to...
- Count my blessings
- Celebrate my successes no matter how small they are
- Be flexible with my plans/goals
- Give more
- Share more of what I know with others
So this is my little plan. Did I add I'll be making some changes to this blog as well? I'm not going to ruin the surprise by telling you what it is but if I'm to give a clue... it's pure awesomeness! Happy New Year everyone :)