Saturday, August 14, 2010

Six years, eleven month and three weeks

There is a clear difference between confused and acting confused. For six year of marriage I couldn’t believe it was coming to an end on such a note. It was a cold Friday evening just a week to our wedding anniversary. I was planning to surprise him by booking a weekend stay at the exact hotel we spent our honeymoon in. The very room I lost my innocence after so many years. It wasn’t the best honeymoon because I was promised we would travel to Jamaica but being with him was good enough.

Just before I went for my usual Friday night choir practice I passed by the hotel to make reservations and saw my husband holding hands with his mistress, checking into a room. My heart was pounding and my eyes begun to water. I was torn between two things, to run out and avoid reacting in a disgraceful manner or confront him immediately and what ever happens will happen. To many people the latter is the undoubtedly best option but I’m different.

As I stood there, all the good and bad times of the six years floated into my mind like the preview of a movie. We have twin boys. The most adorable in the world. The only times we ever fought was about issues that were inevitable and we made up soon after. There was never a time where we didn’t trust each other to the extent of suspecting each other of cheating. Where did I go wrong?

All of a sudden I started looking on some unknown bright side. ‘God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.’ I said to myself. There was probably a perfect explanation for all this. Maybe the slim, sexy lady my husband was with is his co-worker who needed a place to stay and was shy to go into a hotel so he offered to escort her and hold her hand so that it would seem like they were married. When I realized how stupid that sounded I cried even harder.

All this while, my husband and his lady were still at the front desk. I immediately felt that God was giving me a sign to approach and confront him. The clock was ticking; I had to make my move. I thought about my two boys and decided to do this. I was filled with confidence and strength. I wiped away my tears and dashed to them. ‘Derrick, what are you doing here?’ I asked boldly. He turned around and looked at me in surprise.

‘Adjoa, I didn’t expect to see you here.’ He said looking confused. I took a closer look at the lady. She didn’t look guilty at all but she looked quiet familiar. I wasn’t in the mood to crack my brains to know where I had seen her before. To make matters worse she had a little smile on her face. She must have known we were married. We were both wearing our rings. I suddenly lost my cool. ‘What are you doing checking into a room with her?’ I asked. Their expressions changed at once. ‘No Len I’m not doing that. Why would you....’ Derrick started and just paused. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He always did that when he was trying to comfort me and failed. He did that when I was having our sons, when I lost my first job and when my twin sister died. I started crying again. The thought of what he was going to say made me sad. ‘This is my sister Denise, the one in Jamaica. Don’t you recognise her? We came to book our honey moon room for our anniversary. We wanted to know if the hotel would allow us to redecorate the room. When I learnt Denise was coming town I suggested she do the decorations because she’s practically a Jamaican now. She just arrived even.’ He held my hands, looked into my eyes and said, ‘Even though we couldn’t afford to go to Jamaica for our honeymoon I hoped I could bring it to you.’ He said passionately. ‘There goes the surprise.’ Denise added with a warm smile. I was filled with mixed feelings. Was I happy and relieved or was I shy for misjudging my husband. I saw our names in the reservations book. Just then Derrick read my mind. ‘It’s ok. I’m not mad at you for thinking otherwise. I just want you to know that I love you.’ He said and gave me a hug. It felt like the first day he said those words to me. I just felt safe in his arms.

Denise’s bags were still in the car. We all drove home and I learnt not the doubt my husband again.

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