The more I listened to him, the more he sounded like a scratched CD. I had heard this excuse too many times. “Kwame, you are talking like I want you to call me every minute. No, we made plans. If something came up, I deserve the right to know. You remember last week, my battery run down but I managed to get Anita’s phone to contact you.” I explained. He remained silent for a while, rubbed his eyes and said, “You know what, I’m really tired. I don’t want to argue. I’ve got to go.” I didn’t like seeing him like that but he needed to be corrected. I got out of the car reluctantly and walked to my gate. He called me and I turned. “If you were in my shoes, you won’t behave like that.” He said and immediately drove off. “See this boy oh. What shoes? That’s when I decided to be a guy for 24 hours.
When Kwame heard about my idea he laughed his head off. I remained serious as I told him my plans. “So I want you to be my girlfriend…” I explained. “Oh no, young woman or should I say young man. You are not dragging me in this with you. Get yourself a real girl.” He protested. Well he did have a point but how? Lesbianism is sooooooooo not gonna happen! Kwame just laughed when I asked for help so I decided to do my research on my own. After speaking to some other people, I had two ideas. Either to get one of my female friends to act as my partner or hit on a girl I didn’t know and sort of remain anonymous. They both sounded silly but I liked the latter more, besides who knows which of my friends’ is a lesbian? I can’t risk finding out!
The internet was to be my battlefield. I got a picture of my cute cousin (with no permission oh) and created a facebook account. I’m a cute girl so I’m sure if God made me a boy I’d be cute too no? I decided to call myself Dion Mensah. Very manly and Ghanaian. I wanted to let Kwame know that not all girls are crazy over rich guys so I went for the middle income kind of guy. After a random search, I added a number of girls as friends. Kwame called me to find out how my ‘adventure’ was going. I updated him on it and right after I regretted. He laughed even harder than before. I almost hanged up. Mtcheeew. When I signed back in, I (Dion) had four friends. Not bad huh? One was online so I started a chat.
Me: Did you go to Legon?
Yes, what the ‘lol’ was to mean I have no idea. And she kept taking forever to give me these 1 word replies. I figured maybe she was shy so I went on.
Me: So you didn’t? You just look like a friend’s roommate that’s all.
Sally: I am at Sunyani Poly.
Me: Oh ok, then I guess it’s not you then. I have a cousin there though.
Sally: Oh ok. So are you at Legon?
Me: Yes, and no. I was at Legon. I completed three years ago.
Sally: Oh so you are working right?
Me: No, I’m still searching for a job.
Me: Do you live in Sunyani?
Sally is offline!
Oh, sake of what? I felt I was making head way with this one. It was probably the internet service. I smiled at my accomplishment and went back to work. Just a few minutes to five I went back to Facebook to see if Sally was back. To my surprise I had a friend’s request. It was Caren Johnson. Some stuck up girl I knew from Junior High School. She was so annoying. Always felt like she was better than everybody else. I accepted her immediately. “This was going to be fun.” I said to myself. I left the office with a huge grin on my face.
I met Caren online the next day and she even said hi first.Who would have guessed?
Caren: You look so familiar. Do you come to the golf course on Saturdays?
Me: No I don’t but we have met before. I’m sure you’ll figure it out with time.
Caren: Really? If you say so. Hey hold on I need to take a new HD TV out of my car.
Me: OK sure.
If you don’t see what I mean by her being a show off then you are one yourself! She took about 10 minutes and came back.
Caren: Back. Sorry I took so long. The maids where not around so I had to do it myself.
Me: That’s alright.
Caren: So what are you up to?
Middle income my foot! Me too I will show my stieze! Mtcheeeeew.
Me: Just got back from a board meeting.
Caren: Cool. Where do you work?
Me: Bank of Ghana.
Caren: Wow but you are so young. I thought it was just old people who work there.
Me: lol not at all but my dad works there. Got the job through him ;)
Caren: Nice. I work at MTN. I’m a marketing executive. It’s so stressful sometimes.
Me: I bet. Hey, I have to take a shower right now. Do you mind giving me your number so I give you a call sometime?
I honestly didn’t think it would work. Was expecting her to be long but she wasn’t. She gladly gave me her number. Who would think a guy would sweep Caren Johnson off her feet in one ONLINE conversation. I think I’m the best fake boy there is. That night I sent her a text saying. “Hey, you are really fun to talk to. Have a goodnight.” She sent and reply and it was a smile. Strike two, Dion wins!