Blind date

I looked around for a black t shirt. I was about to text Aziz to ask where he was when I spotted a fine guy in a black Tshirt. I smiled and put my phone back into my bag. I walked up to him. He looked really cute. Paulina told me he was cool. She was probably being her usual modest self. Then it hit me. Would he think I was cute too. I paused and turned to look at my reflection in one of the glass windows of the bar. I tossed up my hair a little and continued walking. My heart started racing when I got to his table. I smiled. He smiled back too but not as broad as mine. "Aziz right? It's good to finally meet in person." I said.

 "How are you doing?" He asked to break the awkward silence after I sat down. I said I was fine. A waiter came up to me and I ordered a drink. Immediately my drink came a guy walked up to us and spoke to my date. "Hey we are going to play pool do you want to join us? I didn't catch your name. I'm Kofi." he offered. I shook my head. "Not really, I don't know how to play. I'll just make him lose. I'm Selina." I said smiling. They didn't seem to take no for an answer so I gave in.

Aziz gave me a cue and a quick tutorial. "It's really not that hard. Besides no one on earth is as bad as Kofi's girlfriend in pool." he teased. I giggled. "Easy like you driving your Range Rover eh?" I asked. "Err more like me brushing my teeth, super easy." he said and gave a goofy smile. I laughed again. We were beginning to get along well. He was much more interesting in person. Kofi played first, then Aziz. When Dora, Kofi's girlfriend played I realized what Aziz was trying to say all along. He winked at me and I giggled. It was finally my turn and my coach walked up behind me and showed me how to position my cue. He was rather close but I wasn't complaining. Surprisingly, I didn't do badly at all. As the game went on, Kofi kept asking me if I had really never played before. When I potted my first ball I couldn't help jumping up and down. Aziz run to me, raised me up, spinning me in the air and said I was the best student ever. I laughed my head off when we turned back to look at Kofi and Dora's faces. Their expressions were priceless.

Right after the game, which of course Aziz and I won, we went to sit at the lounge area. The chemistry between Aziz and I was just perfect. The kind where we felt perfectly comfortable around each other. We spoke about the new movies we had all seen and Aziz and I were glad we had the same taste in movies. We even planned to see a new movie sometime. I took out my phone to send a thank you message to my match maker when I noticed 15 missed calls from Paulina and Aziz. I ignored his guessing they were from earlier and rushed to the bathroom to call Paulina back.

"Hey where are you?!" She asked immediately she picked up the phone. I giggled. "Oh say a blind date maybe?" I teased. Paulina wasn't moved. "Ah have you met Aziz yet? He said he couldn't find you. Where have you been?" She asked. I rolled my eyes. "Calm down I'm in the washroom. I was just a little bit late but I've seen him now." I replied. "This your lateness dierr." Paulina said finally calm. She said she had to go and hung up. I looked in the washroom mirror, straightened my dress and walked out. Just before I got to my seat a tall dark guy in a black t-shirt walked up to me. "Hi, Selina right?" He asked. I nodded wondering how he knew my name. He noticed I was a bit puzzled and said. "I'm Aziz, I've been waiting for you for so long. I would have left if it wasn't for Paulina. We said we'd be meeting outside." He explained and I froze. I didn't know what to say. I turned to look at the table I was sitting and saw Kofi and Dora laughing hard. The fake Aziz was staring straight at me. It was like he knew. I turned to Aziz and smiled. "I'm sorry about that." I managed to say. My date said he didn't like the food at the pub so he suggested we go to a Chinese restaurant. I nodded. I turned back to look at the table. "Are you coming?" Aziz asked. I smiled and walked out with him.

Aziz opened the door to his Range Rover when we got to the parking lot. I sat down quietly. "You like Chinese food don't you? Even if you don't, you'll like this particular one. They are the best." He said as he sparked the car. I was barely paying attention. Too many things were running through my head. Then I saw him. He was walking alone.   I turned to Aziz. "I'm really sorry I wasted your time but I'll be wasting more of your time if I go with you. I have to go." I said, opening the door and getting out. "What? What are you talking about?!" He asked furiously. "I don't think this date is working so I'm ending it before it gets worse." I added and ran off. I heard him swear and drive off fast.

I broke into a run in the direction I saw my fake Aziz go. When I saw him standing beside his old car I yelled, "hey!". He stopped and turned around. "Why, why did you lie about being Aziz?" I asked when I caught up with him. "I didn't lie. I just didn't say I wasn't him." He said. "Yeah? Well on this planet it's still lying." I replied. "Oh, is it that obvious I'm not an earthling?" he joked but my expression didn't change. "I'm sorry, what I did wasn't right. I just really wanted to get to know you. I couldn't get myself to tell you the truth. I'm sorry I ruined your date. I won't be causing any more trouble, I'm leaving." He said. He sounded so genuine. If he wasn't, he was the best actor in the world. There was something about him, something very nice. "You didn't ruin my date. Well, technically you did but I still had fun." I said. A smile slowly formed on his face. "We can play another game of pool if you like. I won't mind a few tips." I said stretching out my hand. He took it. "Yes, yes let's play." He said and we walked back. "So what's your real name Fake Aziz?" I teased. "I'm Paul Mensah. Yup, sorry to disappoint you. I have a nice and boring name." Paul said. I laughed again. Paulina wasn't gonna like this at all.

 The end

Tua Wu Ka Company Limited

Andy struggled to enter his room with all the things he was holding. The noise brought his younger sister, Herty, walking towards the room. She smiled and helped him with his luggage. "I'm so tired. These new buses aren't as comfortable as the old ones. Where are your parents?" He asked when he was finally in his room. "They are preparing to leave for work. Aren't you going to the office?" Herty asked. "No, ah after that long trip? I have the day off." He replied lying on his bed.

Andy brought out a pair of traditional leather slippers and gave them to her. She beamed with joy and tried them on immediately. Just as Herty was leaving she instantly remembered something. "Andy, some men came here looking for you oh. They are from Tua Wu Ka. Do you owe anyone money?" She said frowning. Andy rolled his eyes. "It must be Selassie who hired them. I owe him some small 400 cedis too oh. He calls me several times. I won’t pay." Andy said. "Ei don't say that. I heard the Tua Wu Ka people are scary oh. They'll do anything for the money." Herty said but Andy brushed her aside and turned around to sleep.

That evening Andy got a call from a friend. He asked if he was home and Andy said yes.  He told Andy he'd be visiting him soon. When the doorbell rang Andy smiled in anticipation. He walked to the door and saw two, tall dark and very well built men outside his door. "Are you Andy?" One asked. His voice matched his size perfectly. Andy's heart missed a beat. He remembered what his sister said. "No I'm his friend. Let me go and call him for..." before Andy could finish his sentence. One of the men grabbed his hand. "I'll go with you." He said. Andy's heart missed a beat. Just then his mother called out "who is at the door? Andy is it your friend?" Andy swallowed hard. He had started sweating in the cold harmattan weather. He looked at the macho men. One had several marks on his face, ruthless. "It's 400 Cedis eh? I was going to pay oh but..."Andy started but the macho man tightened his grip and Andy got the message. "Ok let's go." He said, slowly losing his breath.

Andy walked to his room with one macho man close behind him. He took out his wallet and with shaking hands gave him the money. The man counted it and looked up at Andy. "But this is 425 cedis." he said. "Oh saa? Ah then the rest is for your transportation." He said. The man nodded and left. Just then Herty appeared in laughter. Andy was furious. "I told you about them. They are the only people who will come for money you owe them and you'll add a tip." She said laughing and holding her sides.

If you owe anyone money just pay or else you know who they are gonna call...

His muse 7

‎"Chale if I were you I would go to her hostel and act as if I met her by chance." Moses said. Edem and Moses had become good friends. He felt more comfortable talking to Moses about Sandra than Dean. Dean had a girlfriend, he didn't understand. "Chale she get boy oh." Edem said, throwing his backpack on the bed. "Well if she loves him she won't be so nice to you." Moses added. He was playing with a football. Edem thought for a while. The more Moses spoke, the more confident he got. He was almost sure he could win her over. He thought about ways he could approach her. She was so cute. He was going to make his move the next day.

"You should have been there. The designer took my measurements and asked me to try on some clothes." Edem said walking next to Dean. "Oh that's nice. Abi you are a star now." Dean replied. Edem smiled. "Don't get too excited oh. We still need to make enough money for your school fees and...goodness! Hostel fees too." Dean added, scratching his head. Edem nodded. They got to the shop and Dean looked around. "At least now that you have a new muse we are good to go." Dean said. Edem froze. "What new muse?" He asked confused. "Dela. I'm talking about Dela. I watched how you lit up the last time she came to watch you. It looks like she likes you too oh. You should look sharp." Dean explained and made his payment. Edem felt a bit offended. "I beg Dela is not my muse." He finally said. Dean looked at him funny. 

"Oh but before she came you were a mess. Then all of a sudden your jokes were super funny." He said trying to understand Edem's anger. "That day I had lunch with Sandra." He spilled out. Dean giggled. "The girl you are afraid of or which Sandra?" He teased. "Look Dean, I know you don't like the idea of me thinking about her but chale I dey like am waa. I may not get her because I don't have much to offer and she has a boyfriend who buys her stuff and all but it doesn't change..." Edem started but Dean cut him short. "Yo, can you hear yourself? She has a boyfriend. Let her go! If you date a girl like that she will just make you feel bad about yourself and boss you around." Dean was getting angry now. "You have a show tomorrow. Focus on that and leave that girl alone! You need to put yourself together and realize that you make all these jokes yourself and this muse business is just a distraction. I have to go prepare for my class so later." Dean added sternly and walked off. Edem just stood there soaking it all in.

On his way back to his hall Edem decided to walk. He felt like thinking. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the dark clouds forming. He kept walking on the wide walk, thinking about what Dean said. It was when it started drizzling that he realized he should have taken a taxi. He stood by the road and signaled for a taxi to stop. They were all full. Edem was getting soaked now. He shook his head and decided to walk to the bus stop ahead. He turned around and started walking, insulting himself as he went. He was interrupted by some screeching noice. He turned around and saw a blue van heading right at him. Edem tried to dive into the bush but the van was just too fast. It hit him and he fell down unconscious.






To be continued...

His muse 5

The presenter introduced Edem to the stage and he smiled as he got to the stage. “Hi, everybody. Hope you are enjoying the fashion show.” He said. A lot of people shouted “No.” Edem went on. “I hope you know that, that reply won’t be heard in the video recording. The organizers are definitely going to edit that into a yes, absolutely, woohoo.” The crowd laughed. “I told my sister last week that I was coming here. She looked at me like I was mad then she asked. Why? You are always behind time in terms of fashion. Well don’t they have a term for that? I’m vintage! Why is it ok for Beyonce to wear 1960 dress and I get ignored for wearing bell bottom trousers?” The crowd went on laughing. Then she walked in. Sandra got a quick seat and enjoyed the show. Edem went on and on and the crowd’s laughter went higher and higher. This was his night!

“Edem so did you make all the jokes up?” Sally’s friend asked. “Dela, this guy is just good at what he does.” Dean said. Edem shrugged. “But my favourite were the Ewe jokes.” Dela added, looking directly at Edem. “From one number 9 to another, I know you liked them because you can relate.” Edem teased and they all laughed. “Oh Edem do the accent again.” Sally asked as they made it for the exit. “Cho, you have to urr pay me for this oh.” Edem said in a thick Ewe accent. Dela and Sally were in total laughter. “You guys take the lead eh, I will meet you outside.” Edem said when he saw Sandra talking to one of the organizers. “Sandra!” He called. She turned and smiled. “Wow, your act today was just awesome. I missed the first part though.” She said. Edem nodded.

"I did my best. This is my first gig since the competition. I just made sure I talked about fashion and stuff the crowd could relate to." Edem said. Sandra was smiling as usual. "You came alone? I thought you were coming with.." Edem started but someone cut in. A guy walked over to Sandra and hugged her. "Hi, I didn't know you would come here." He said. Edem noticed him. He was one of the designers for the fashion show. "Yea, I came to watch a friend." Sandra said pointing to Edem and he nodded. "Oh really. You did the comedy eh? It was really funny. We have so much talent in Ghana." The designer said and Edem gave a weak smile. "Sandra darling, I have this dress I need you to see." He said dragging her away. "Edem I'll be right back." She said as he led her away. Edem nodded and sat down on a chair. He was sitting there when his phone rung. It was Dean. "Chale where you dey? We are getting a cab oh." He asked. Edem looked around for Sandra. "Take the lead eh. I will come later." He said. Dean was silent for a while. "Ah, what are you doing there?" He finally asked. "Oh I'm just chatting with one of the organizers." He lied. "Oh cool. Do you want me to come? Is it about another gig?" Dean asked concerned. "Naa, just talking about the show. I'm good. See you later." Edem said still looking out for Sandra.

He sat there for 30 more minutes and she still didn't show up. He got up and walked towards the changing room, where she was dragged to.  He peeped through but she wasn't there."Ermm excuse me, do you know where Sandra and the tall designer went?" Edem asked a model who was packing up to leave. "I don't know. They just left in her car." She said in a Nigerian accent. "Heyaa it's going to rain." She said and rushed off. Edem was upset. He turned around and walked out slowly. It had already started raining. He insulted himself as he run through the rain to get to the bus stop. "Dean was right, I'm probably not good enough for her." He thought to himself as he tried to stop a taxi. When he finally got into one he was soaked. He called Dean and told him he was going to his hall instead because he was wet. But the real reason was because he was down. "Yo, you remember Sally's friend? Be like she dey feel you oh. She was asking so many questions about you when we were coming. You better look sharp." Dean said excitedly. Edem smiled. She was a nice girl. "Eh, then we go talk moro. She is at your hostel right? I will come over after my Saturday morning class." Edem said. He was happy he had attracted a girl but why couldn't she be Sandra? 

The next day was so much fun. A lot of people recognized Edem from the show and said hi to him all day. It felt nice. When he went to Dean's place they went to see his new crush and she even made them lunch. "Dela you are a good cook oh." Dean complimented. She smiled and looked at Edem. "He doesn't know you added some cat meat to the food." Edem teased. "And you would know." Dela said giggling. "Oh but me and you know how it tastes oh." He said and she laughed some more. He liked the way she responded to his jokes. She was really nice. Edem stayed at Dela's place chatting till it was very late. When he got back to his place he was smiling a lot. He had had a good day. "It would have been a lot better if I had seen Sandra" he thought, as he went to sleep.

To be continued...

Opinions

This is something I found super hilarious and the sad part is that I can relate. I'm sure you can too. Enjoy your day! : )

Relationship comedy

This morning I felt like bringing the funny side of relationships to light. Just to make you smile and forget about the drama in your relationship :) enjoy!!!

Girl: Hey, why haven’t you called me since Friday?

Boyfriend: I’m going green.

Girl: Huh? What has that got to do with anything?

Boyfriend: I’m saving the trees so I refuse to buy a scratch card.

*

Fat girl: Baby am I fat?

Boyfriend: Oh did anyone call you fat? That person is a liar and just jealous of you.

Fat girl: Aww thanks baby, I knew your mum always wanted to look like me.

*

Councilor: When you hear the word match, what comes to mind?

Husband: Football

Wife: Colours

Councilor: Ok, how about when you hear the word satisfaction?

Husband: Food

Wife: The man next door.

*

Girl: Ahh I HATE fake people. Why can’t they just be themselves?

Boyfriend: Wow, looking at your hair, nails, eye lashes, padded bra and all you must really hate yourself!